.



so I will die one day,
but if it must be soon
please,
God,
let it be beautiful.
let my black skin explode
all Cosmic
as if I didn’t breathe galaxies
as if I didn’t hold the entire universe between my thighs
as if this beauty was anything but infinite
and poised toward destruction
as if this beauty was anything but beauty.
this body keeps me so Ugly.
and what is this body
if not mourning,
if not already a knot on the noose?
I put on this skin like it’s performance art.
such a slip of a thing.
whichever you would prefer,
whatever you think would look better
on this body today.
my art is only about my body.
all art is only about this body
and however long it has left
to keep breathing.
and what is my breath
if not a countdown?
what are these lips
if not holy?
already a prayer.
something like
Dear God,
may I Ash
I Terrify
I Lazarus
again and again and again

—
Lady Lazarus Sings the Blues, Kiki Nicole