kirsten tells rabih that as a teenager she was unhappy, felt unable to connect with others and went through a phase of self-harming. scratching her arms until they bled, she says, gave her the only relief she could find. rabih feels moved by her admission, but it goes further than that: he is positively drawn to kirsten because of her troubles. he identifies her as a suitable candidate for marriage because he is instinctively suspicious of people for whom things have always gone well. around cheerful and sociable others he feels isolated and peculiar. he dislikes carefree types with a vengeance. in the past he has described certain women he has been out on dates with as 'boring', when anyone else might more generously and accurately have labelled them 'healthy'. taking trauma to be a primary route to growth and depth, rabih wants his own sadness to find an echo in his partner's character.