i can sense occasional blips of grip kicking in and second-fourth function loops overwhelming me
but fuck that. ain't nobody got time or energy for that

a few days ago i had a panic attack at work while my boss was standing beside me. i suppose it was clearly visible that something was not quite alright cause he asked me if i was okay to which i responded that 'just a bit of a panic attack'. and i think it is an achievement of some sorts - to be able to tell others about it rather than pretending that everything is okay and trying to act like i'm a highly functional and flawless creature