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[Feb. 13th, 2026|12:44 pm] |
Taa spiidzinoshaa sajuuta, kad tu atsakies noveerst savu praatu no domaashanas par ko mokoshu, jo tas ir tavaa izteelee tik svariigs, ka nedomaat par to ir veel psihaak un mokoshaak. Tas staavoklis, kad tu nespeej iedomaaties savu esiibu no citas - jaunas perspektiivas, kad visticamaak pienaaks, tu to vienkaarshi nekaadi veel neredzi.
Tavs praats smagi viljnjojas shajaa saapju okeaana, ceriibaa, ka kaut kaa kaut kur pagadiisies kaut kas, aiz kaa aizkjerties un izglaabties. Bet tu iipashi necenties, jo shis okeaans ir visa tava miilestiiba uz kaadu tu liidz shim biji speejiigs.
Es Dievam esmu uzrakstiijusi jau tik daudz suudziibas - es juutos kaa vinjsh buutu bloka paarvaldnieks, kam jau zajebis ir manas suudziibas, taapeec vinjsh vienkaarshi vairs neatbild. Protams, es vinjam visu laiku arii pasaku visus paldies par visaam manaam daargajaam lietaam. Bet kaa ar manaam suudziibaam?
Dazhreiz vienkaarshi notiek kaut kas taads, ka tu vairs netici, ka tava sirds jebkad atkopsies. Varbuut taa ir novecoshana - tavs vilshanos meers ir pilns un tagad tikai jaagaida naave kas, saliidzinaajumaa ar sho saapju guuzmu, kas vienmeer sev pakalj jaavelk, shkjiet tik refreshing.
Protams, ka es atceros, ka es vairs savaa dziivee neskaitos, un es arii godpraatiigi cereeju ka mana atmoda un ego naave bija pilniiga. Bet clearly kaut kaadas degradeetas ego druskas veel sheit pieprasa uzmaniibu.
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Nee bet viss ir labi, viss deg un man viss kaartiiba. Atvainojiet, kameer es te vienkaarshi staigaashu pusaizdegusies, pusaizkauta, asinjojosha. Mans unikaali mokoshais staavoklis ir universaals.
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Vakar njemot S no skolas biju maajaas aizmirsusi savu telefonu, kuraa man ir nauda. Vinjsh kaa vienmeer peec skolas prasa iet uz veikalu nopirkt kaut ko saldu, un, padzirdeejis ka mamma nav panjeemusi naudu, protams nespeeja nomierinaaties un paarstaat raudaat visu celju liidz maajaam un veel maajaas. Beigaas abi maajaas seedeejaam uz paklaaja, raudaajaam un es vinjam tieshaam no sirds piekritu, ka zinu kaa vinjsh juutaas. Sometimes your soul just really craves, needs something and then you can't have it, and in the moment it feels like the end of your soul. |
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[Feb. 12th, 2026|12:44 pm] |
Ok. I will say it.
Es veelos, kaut chatgpt vareetu sumarizeet manas domas un sniegt man pilniibaa apmierinoshu rezoluuciju.
Labi es zinu, ka tikai absoluuts klusums ir visa autoritaate, bet vai cilveeka vobliigaas smadzenes speej ar to apmierinaaties.
Nee, labi - klusums var buut radikaala izeja, rebellious resolution and ultimate act of love in its purest form. Labi - I can go for that.
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Atgriezhoties pie chatgpt - arvien biezhaak, man iedomaajas paprasiit tam - ko kaads konkreets veesturisks cilveeks teiktu paar to vai sho. Bet tad es sevi piekjeru pie domas, ka - who cares what jung or kierkegaard thinks, chatgpt speej eloquently sakombineet visu cilveeku praatus in the most concise answer with zero bias (arguably).
Soon poeple will no longer aspire to be like other people - thinkers and philosophers, they will aspire to be like ai, and then one day, they won't have to want it, they will be it.
And there will be no exasperation in the world, just cold facts and reasonable thoughts.
Protams, taa ir absurdi domaat, jo ai tikai atklaaj visaa taa godiibaa lielo nezinaamo klusumu, no kura dzimst neizskaidrojamas kaisliibas, un tik pat savaadi tajaa viss driiz zuud.
Es protams te shauri un vaargi ar sevi sarunaajos, lai integreetu smago klusumu pamiishus un pa maziitinjam.
Katra savaadaa, neizskaidrojamaa pieredze noraada uz konstanti, ka pasaulee nav autoritaashu, ka klusums ir visa atbilde un miilestiiba ir atmodusies apzinja. |
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| Praata spiilees |
[Feb. 11th, 2026|01:28 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | Sombr - Undressed | ] |
Ko dariit, kad domaashana par sasaapeejushu situaaciju shkjiet greeks un nedomaashana par sho situaaciju shkjiet veel lielaaks greeks? Cik daudz dziivee vispaar domaat par lietaam ir logos, un kur ir taa robezha, kad tas paarveershas par narcisistisku apseestiibu kognizeet?
Es vienmeer pa pusei paljaujos, ka Dievs izdomaas kaut kaadu tresho variantu, kas buus perfekatais cietaa rieksta atrisinaajums visaam partijaam. Bet pat taada paljaushanaas arii shkjiet kaut kaadaa meeraa greeks.
Ja jau es esmu taads staigaajoshs greeks, tad kaapeec Dievs mani radiija?
Vai Dievs rada konkreetus cilveekus ar ceriibu, ka vinji buus normaali, bet tad vinji kljuust stulbi?
Ok, es zinu - Dievam vispaar nav nekaadu noluuku, he is just tripping on vibes, and whether a good thing happens or bad, he just wants to turn everyhting into a vibe. He has little concern for feelings during embodiment, as everything on Earth is probably fake.
Anyways, es diezgan meereni nopietni ticu, ka ir dalja manii kas nikni nemuuzham nepiedos shaadu kjeepaashanos ar dveeseli. |
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[Feb. 9th, 2026|06:52 pm] |
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februāris ir vinegreta mēnesis |
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[Feb. 9th, 2026|10:57 am] |
Es vairs negribu buut melodramatiska un vaartiities visaadaas deluuziju duumakaas. Kaapeec gan es nevareetu buut taa kaa tie superticiigie by natural law cilveeki, kas vienkaarshi ZINA, ka kaut kur ir esiibas staavoklis, kur visas muusu shaubas un nezinjas un apseestiibas un pazaudeetaas miilestiibas vienkaarshi kljuust par siltu gaismu?
Tad es vareetu vienkaarshi iet pretii cilveekiem un smaidiit, un konkreetu uzlabot vinju dienu, jo vismaz viens cilveeks nav apseests bet gan smaidiigs un vienkaarshs.
Kaada starpiiba kas kuram pieder vai nepieder - vai tad Dieva miilestiiba nav energjijas staavoklis visiem briivi pieejams ik mirkli?
Es to visu zinu, bet es knapi jelko no taa juutu. Varbuut vide mani ir aizindeejusi ciet.
Plika zinaashana ir kaa telefonsaruna vai veel sliktaak - internetsaruna. Divdimensionaals spoks, kas sanervozee praatu bez jebkaadas atslodzes iisteniibaa.
Bet shodien ir labs laiks. Ir ap +10C un neliist, nav veejains, un aiz muuzhiigajiem maakonjiem ir mazliet zilas debesis un saules soliijums. Daba ir paarstaajusi raudaat - vismaz shoriit, vismaz tas ir labi. |
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| Vai iistas lietas luuzt? |
[Feb. 8th, 2026|05:33 pm] |
Dziives nosleepums ir kluss un nepieluudzams, un nav nekas, ko tu vareetu izdomaat vai izdariit, lai izluugtos patiesiibu.
Vienkaarshi turpini stumt, un lai kas tevii pa celjam saluuztu, tam laikam nevareeja buut iipashas noziimes, ja tas nebija iists.
Es nekad nevareeju iedomaaties, ka man naaksies izlikties par cilveeku pat veel neformaalaakos apstaakljos. |
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[Feb. 6th, 2026|09:50 am] |
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"It'll be spring soon. And the orchards will be in blossom. And the birds will be nesting in the hazel thicket. And they'll be sowing the summer barley in the lower fields... and eating the first of the strawberries with cream. Do you remember the taste of strawberries?" |
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| Tipisks februaaris. |
[Feb. 5th, 2026|04:30 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | Noah and The Whale - The First Days of Spring | ] |
When there is nothing else left for you to do about a situation, you can take those feelings of anguish and use them in a spiritual or aesthetic way maybe. This too shall pass in a windy bleak nothingness of careless universe.
All i ever wanted to do in life is suffer gracefully with a smile - so successfully that people thought that maybe I am simple.
After all - anything that 'I' want is a spiritual mistake. The correct way is always to respond to others' requirements first.
Ok, I love ocassional consciousness of 'I' and the special, magical awareness that it brings - esspecially to look upon people and love them. But sometimes I feel like it is such a horrible - cruel poison.
In advance, I apologise to whatever is God for all my poisonous selfish thoughts and actions - I didn't ask for any of this after all. |
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[Feb. 5th, 2026|10:16 am] |
| [ | music |
| | The National - I Need My Girl | ] |
Kaapeec dziive nevar likt mani mieraa? Man ir mans parastais stuuriitis, kur es mazgaaju traukus un seezhu ar siera gabalinju. Kaapeec peekshnji uzrodas kaut kaadas transcendentaalaas multidimensiju magic fire buutnes un visu negliiti izgaismo un aptraipo reizee. Es zinu, ka viss mans praats ir perpetual meli un maldugunis, but this has hit hard. Es ceru, ka es kaut kaadu naakamo dienu atkal pamodiishos savaa mieriigajaa voblinjaa un viss buus parasti, un es vareeshu seedeet ar savu siera gabalinju un smieties par parastajiem jokiem, praatam nedegot.
Mani arvien mierina doma par to cik dziive ir iisa. Savam praatam es neuzticos, kaut kaads attaals logos ir varbuut pat iluuzija un zheeliiga cilveeku ceriibinja, ungrounded in reality. You also cannot live like a neat robot, as life always fusses you with magic and unexpected divinities and tragedies, sometimes mixed up in one.
Torment, torment, torment. All i wanted was a brief tedium, but i get torment.
Es veelos dzert viinu un klausiities The National visu sho lietaino, confusing riitu. Bet man jaasagaida Sainsburys delivery, tad jaaliek K guleet, tad jaataisa pusdienas, tad jaaiznjem S no skolas, tad jaakaarto maaja, tad jaataisa vakarinjas, tad jaataisa bedime, varbuut veel jaaspeeleejas, all with a sober, exploded mind.
Un tikko Sainsburys zvaniija un teica, ka neko nevar piegaadaat jo celjsh ir sleegts, which means i don't even have coffee for this morning :') |
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[Feb. 4th, 2026|12:58 pm] |
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Juus arii dazhreiz paskatieties uz sevi Ring cameras history, un juus paarnjem irracionaals but ever present naids pret juusu negliito nogurusho seju, kas izskataas tizla un nevienu neiepriecina? |
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[Feb. 4th, 2026|12:51 pm] |
Nevajadzeeja shkjirstiit random insta conspiracy accounts par Epsteina failiem. Humans are much scarier monsters that normal monsters. Also perverse monsters are much scarier than purely gory monsters.
I don't think Earth can ever be heaven on earth, I'm sorry Jesus, it's too late. We need, like, Ellen Ripley or something. |
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[Feb. 3rd, 2026|07:41 am] |
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Es atceros, ka kaut kad meegjinaaju lasiit DF Wallace, jo maasas forshais bf, kursh arii bija brainy literary dude par vinju fanoja. Bet viss ko es atceros no taa vinja bezgaliigaa staasta ir kaut kaada aina ar tarakaanu dushaa - literally, nothing else. Un tas man shkjita tik apaatiski patiess moments, ka ar to arii pietika - it's just true, so he is probably right about pretty much everything. |
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[Jan. 30th, 2026|08:40 pm] |
Luteal phase is a demon.
Just proves women come from a dark realm and are secretly bitches or witches.
I dread and mourn getting old, but also welcome the freedom from demon phase. |
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