Aug. 29., 2013 | 01:10 pm

We can repair what your husband fixed.
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Okt. 23., 2012 | 03:53 pm

Dont be sorry, just don't talk.
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Aug. 27., 2012 | 02:54 pm

Sometimes I drink a glass of water just to surprise my liver.
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Jul. 31., 2012 | 10:37 am

I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.
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Jul. 30., 2012 | 11:02 am

The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
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vot vot vot

Jul. 27., 2012 | 04:00 pm

I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
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Jul. 20., 2012 | 02:31 pm

I can almost always tell if a movie doesn't use real dinosaurs.
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Quote of the Day

Mar. 25., 2011 | 12:17 pm

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.
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Quote of the Day

Mar. 23., 2011 | 10:57 am

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.
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Quote of the Day

Nov. 11., 2010 | 02:17 pm

Nav ko likt!
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Quote of the Day

Nov. 10., 2010 | 09:19 am

Without geography, you're nowhere.
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Quote of the Day

Nov. 9., 2010 | 09:33 am

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
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Quote of the Day

Nov. 8., 2010 | 09:40 am

And on the eighth day God said, "Okay, Murphy, you're in charge!"
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Quote of the Day

Nov. 5., 2010 | 08:55 am

If The Phone Doesn't Ring, It's Me
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Quote of the Day

Nov. 4., 2010 | 10:30 am

A gentleman is a man who can play the accordion but doesn't.
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Quote of the Day

Nov. 3., 2010 | 09:14 am

I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down. No problem.
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Quote of the Day

Nov. 2., 2010 | 09:03 am

I know you think you understood what I said, but what you heard was not what I meant.
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Quote of the Day

Nov. 1., 2010 | 09:24 am

Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.
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Quote of the Day

Okt. 29., 2010 | 09:28 am

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
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Quote of the Day

Okt. 27., 2010 | 10:32 am

Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
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Quote of the Day

Okt. 26., 2010 | 09:55 am

I never said most of the things I said.
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Quote of the Day

Okt. 25., 2010 | 10:19 am

I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.
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Quote of the Day

Okt. 22., 2010 | 10:18 am

Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
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Quote of the Day

Okt. 21., 2010 | 12:32 pm

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.
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Quote of the Day

Apr. 16., 2010 | 12:26 pm

Save the planet - it's the only one with beer.
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Quote of the Day

Apr. 15., 2010 | 02:57 pm

I am free of all prejudice, I hate everyone equally.
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Quote of the Day

Apr. 7., 2010 | 12:34 pm

I don't have an ego, I just love how awesome I am.
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Quote of the Day

Mar. 31., 2010 | 12:05 pm

Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?
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Quote of the Day

Mar. 30., 2010 | 03:26 pm

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
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Quote of the Day

Mar. 29., 2010 | 03:37 pm

I’ve got problem for your solution.
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Quote of the Day

Mar. 25., 2010 | 01:44 pm

I put two and two together and decided that you're pissing me off.
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Quote of the Day

Mar. 11., 2010 | 09:54 am

Do you know why they call it 'PMS'? Because 'Mad Cow Disease' was already taken.
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Quote of the Day

Mar. 10., 2010 | 11:05 am

It is not my fault that I never learned to accept responsibility!
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Quote of the Day

Mar. 9., 2010 | 12:43 pm

The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it's still on my list.
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Quote of the Day

Mar. 4., 2010 | 12:23 pm

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
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Quote of the Day

Mar. 3., 2010 | 11:45 am

There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
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Quote of the Day

Mar. 2., 2010 | 01:17 pm

I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.
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Quote of the Day

Feb. 26., 2010 | 11:50 am

Whatever it is — I didn't do it!
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Quote of the Day

Feb. 25., 2010 | 11:42 am
jūtos: negulējis

If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.
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Quote of the Day

Feb. 24., 2010 | 11:49 am

If "con" is the opposite of "pro", is "congress" the opposite of "progress"?
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Quote of the Day

Feb. 23., 2010 | 01:28 pm

How fast is the speed of dark?
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Quote of the Day

Feb. 22., 2010 | 12:12 pm

Whoever said that words can’t hurt you, has never been hit with a dictionary.
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Quote of the Day

Feb. 19., 2010 | 02:38 pm

Just remember, if the world did not suck, we'd all fall off.
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Quote of the Day

Feb. 18., 2010 | 12:03 pm
šobrīd skan: The Mars Volta - Metatron

Am I naked? Because, in my nightmares, I'm usually naked.
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Quote of the Day

Feb. 17., 2010 | 10:31 am

I smile because I have no idea what's going on.
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Quote of the Day

Feb. 16., 2010 | 11:45 am
šobrīd skan: Elbow - Starlings

I'm not an alcoholic. I'm a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings.
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Quote of the Day

Feb. 15., 2010 | 12:19 pm
šobrīd skan: One Day As A Lion: If You Fear Dying

Everyone has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
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Quote of the Day

Feb. 14., 2010 | 11:59 am

It only hurts until the pain goes away.
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Quote of the Day

Feb. 12., 2010 | 12:22 pm

I'm not saying I don't trust you, and I'm not saying I do. But I don't.
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Quote of the Day

Feb. 11., 2010 | 11:59 am
šobrīd skan: Iggy Pop - I Want to Go to the Beach

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August.
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