"Inside the cave inside your body is the creature’s collection. The creature’s collection is everything you have ever lost. The creature’s collection is everyone you have ever lost.

What does it snatch with its many legs and jaws? Photos and charms and cigarette butts. Floral scents and faces and feelings. It can’t get them all. But it will fight to.
(..)

Keep climbing. Climb because you know that at the end of the climb there is rest. At the end of the climb there is shelter. At the end of the climb there is a cave.

Remember. The cave is high, and it is hidden, and it is difficult to get to. Falling water thunders past you and sprays you as you climb. The slope is slippery and your clothes are wet. It is difficult, but freedom always is.

Keep climbing because you think that once you reach the cave, you will have rest. You will have comfort. This is not true, but it is important to think that, as you climb. It is important to keep yourself climbing, and delusions can help you."

Vakarnakt, sēžot virtuvē uz grīdas un dzerot kakao ar viskiju, sāku klausīties podkāstu Within the Wires, kurš ir dīvains un brīnišķīgs, kā jau visi man zināmie šo autoru darbi. Turpināju klausīties šodien, ejot pastaigāties, nostaigāju gandrīz trīs stundas, pa ceļam apmeklējot veikalu un aptieku. Gāju pa ielu, apskāvusi tualates papīru, un mēģināju uztvert savā prātā to punktu, kas iedod distanci, kas ļauj skatīties uz lietām ar pieņemošu vērīgumu, reizē ļaujot tām plūst garām - kā mākoņiem, kā domām, kas var arī nebūt patiesas. Un vienlaikus es domāju par autentiskumu, kuru man šķiet ļoti svarīgi nepazaudēt, cenšoties sev kaut kā palīdzēt, kas nozīmē būt kontaktā ar savām bailēm, skumjām un šaubām.