Not only can one never be fully aware of who one is in a relationship, since the self is less a thing than a process, one can never be entirely sure what definition of 'self', situation or relationship the 'other' has created. On top of conscious impression management about what one conceals and reveals, there is the unconscious side, which means that one can never describe with full confidence the basis of the relationship.

(Malcolm Crick "Ali and Me: an essay in street-corner anthropology")