Like, this is the ultimate struggle for me, probably the biggest struggle in my life (first world problems).

Es esmu sapratusi, ka I cannot be real with people 100% of the time because it is just not accepted in this society, I can only be real with the close people but it literally pains me to be fake, I have not mastered this, every time I hear how are you it literally stabs me in the brain, so I avoid all fake interactions as much as I can but it leads to a lonely life and a nonexistant professional persona.