Vienīgais Labais

Šodien pusdienojot kopā ar savu kolēģi (sieviešu kārtas) un klausoties par kārtējiem vīriešiem, kas bez jebkāda uzaicinājuma viņai pārmērīgi ir izrādījuši uzmanību*, radās doma par konceptu sieviešu T-kreklam vai topiņam.



Neesmu nekāds dizaineris, tā, ka pilnīgi noteikti to var daudz labāk realizēt, bet doma man patīk. Priekšpusē, krūšu augstumā liels uzraksts "double". Aizmugurē uzraksts "as in not single" (vai arī "that means not single", "read: not single"). Jauks un krietni divdomīgs atribūts.


________________________
* - jāsaka, ka tas gan attiecas konkrēti uz šo reģionu, Eiropā šī problēma ir krietni mazākās devās.

Ja MTV mākslinieki ēd sēnes, tad 4fun.tv multenīšu autori pilnīgi noteikti smēķē zāli. Pat īpaši nesaprotot poliski var skatīties īsās multenītes par dzērāju miešu un hitleru.

IE* izstrādātāji produkta ērtības uzlabošanas nolūkos plāno ieviest auto-fill arī parolēm.

Cerams, ka Tautas Partija nekad neko tādu neiedomāsies izdarīt...

Blow me!
According to my planning this would take me 500 days to tour around the world, visiting all the ones who signed up for a blowjob on this page, giving 80 blowjobs per day. So the offer is limited, sign up while you still can.

The Services consist of Tania performing fellatio on selected individuals who have requested the Services through this form.

One day while walking down the street a highly successful Human Resources Manager was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself.

"Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had a Human Resources Manager make it this far and we're not really sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," said the woman.

"Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in."

"Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven", said the woman.

"Sorry, we have rules..."

And with that St. Peter put the executive in an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell.

The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends - fellow executives that she had worked with and they were well dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner.

She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kind of cute) and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved goodbye as she got on the elevator.

The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found St. Peter waiting for her.

"Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said. So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came and got her.

"So, you've spent a day in hell and you've spent a day in heaven. Now you must choose your eternity,"

The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell."

So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down back to Hell.

When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks.

The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her. "I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable."

The Devil looked at her smiled and told: "Yesterday we were recruiting you, Today you are an employee."

Priekā visiem!

Nez, varētu kaut kādā amerikāņu forumā atvērt tēmu, kurā Dženifere (37 gadi, grāmatvede Shell benzīntankā, dzīvo Minesotā) sūdzās par to, ka viņas trīs bērni inficējušies ar putnu gripu ēdot Knorr vistas zupu. Nez cik cilvēki uzķertos?

http://klab.lv/users/mazheks/304557.html

Samērā skaļi smējos birojā, tāpēc bija jāizstāsta savai musulmaņu kolēģei (audzinātai samērā tradicionālām musulmaņu metodēm). Un kas bija vēl smieklīgāk, viņa nesaprata joku, jo nezināja, kas ir minets. Un kas vairs nebija tik smieklīgi, viņa nesaprata joku arī pēc paskaidrojuma, jo nezināja arī, kas ir orālais sekss.

Tagad iedevu viņai pāris atslēgas vārdus, kurus pameklēt ar google.com palīdzību.

"Mīlestība nezina vecuma!" nodomāja Jāzeps kaislīgi noskūpstīdams savas 73 gadus vecās sievas Almas kaklu.

"Patiešām, mīlestība nezina vecuma," pasmīnēja un nodomāja Valdis.

Neciešu cilvēkus, kas, lai izsauktu liftu, nospiež abas bultiņas.

Pirmo reizi mūžā saņēmu komplimentu no gejiem. Un uzreiz divus atsevišķus vienā dienā. Dīvaini kaut kā.

Oranžā portāla reklāma jautā:
Vai žīds ir uzbudinošs?

Izrādās, ka Pilipīnieši nemāk izrunāt burtu F.

Ja zodz, zodz ar vērienu!

http://www.dozhivi.ru/

Īpašs veltījums mazheks

Nez, pēc cik ilga laika Pussycat Dolls solistei tiks veikta krūšu operācija?
Ha-ha ha-hahh.

Washington Post's Mensa Invitational asked the readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are the winners:
Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realise it was your money to start with.
Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you
Glibido: All talk and no action.
Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
Caterpallor (n.): The colour you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

Nopērc balnoniņus!