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Dec. 25th, 2009|12:48 pm |
If loving you is wrong, then baby, it goes a long way towards explaining the concussion and crushed left testicle.
I decided to make my fortune by writing the ultimate love song -- a metaphor for the pain of lost love. But the record companies just didn't go for "Pencil in My Urethra" the way I thought they would.
The Top Hollywood Holidays
- Thanksgrossreceipts
- Residualmas
- Day of the Blessed Virgin (Cancelled -- none could be found)
- St. Agentine's Day
- Obamadon
- Holy Mirror Day
- Thanksgiving Day 2: Turkeys' Revenge
- Hannahmontanakah
The Top Commandments Given to the Military
- Thou shalt remember thy Shore Leave, and keep it holy.
- Thou shalt ever watch thy backside, and yet thy flanks.
- Thou shalt not relieve thyself in thy own foxhole unless it is either absolutely necessary or involuntary.
- Suffer the little children, shoot everything else.
- Remember to keep holey the enemy.
- Aim well, for thou mayest only get one shot.
- Thou shalt eat thy chow, and thou shalt like it!
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