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[Nov. 26th, 2009|08:41 am] |
In kindergarten, we spent weeks learning the alphabet. I wasn't very good at it, so I got an F when they tested us. At least they *told* me it was an F -- I had no way of knowing for sure.
You'd be surprised how gracious the other patrons of a cash register line can be when you arrive jumping up and down, hugging a 24-pack of toilet tissue.
The Top Things We Are Thankful For at Work
- That spell check caught the word "badonkadonk" before you turned the performance evaluations into HR.
- The ability to "sleep off" our hangovers by sitting quietly in our cubes.
- We've insulated our attics with free PostIt(TM) notes.
- Where else can you get free unlimited pens and paperclips?
- Nobody notices when you move your cubicle walls out one inch a day until it is too late.
- We are thankful for geeks in IT who let us fix their car in exchange for wiping clean our internet usage records.
- Free child care. As long as they can sit quietly under the desk from 9 to 5.
- The ability to get away from our family 10 hours a day.
- Mandy the Receptionist's miniskirts.
- All of the bandwidth, none of the bills.
The Top 6 Ways Naps are Better Than Sex
- No pressure to exaggerate afterwards about how great it was.
- Nap: Up to 3 hours of total bliss. Sex: 5 minutes, tops. Seven if you think about baseball statistics.
- The only thing you're likely to catch is 40 winks.
- That wet spot on your pillow after a nap is just drool.
- While napping on a park bench isn't nearly as fun, it usually won't land your ass in the slammer.
- You don't have to fake sleeping.
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