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[Nov. 25th, 2009|07:55 am]
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I don't like to name-drop or brag, but I've been told by some of the biggest names in show business that I've been part of a great audience.

I'd like to be remembered as one of those "larger than life" people, but as I'm only 5'6" I just work on being *wider* than life.

This much I know for sure: Those Polish folks sure make one hell of a good shoe-shining compound.


The Top Internet Thanksgiving Moments

- By popular demand, IT department potluck turkey replaced by roasted haunch of Nigerian e-mail spammer.
- After President Lincoln issues the first Thanksgiving Day proclamation, hundreds of telegraph operators around the country claim he was born in Indian territory and announce their intention to remain ungrateful.
- The dining room is oddly silent as everyone tweets the annual Thanksgiving family argument from their iPhones.
- Star Wars Kid given his own Macy's parade balloon.
- The first domain dispute is fought between the Pilgrims and the Wampanoags over "PlymouthRock.us."
- Due to technical issues, the Twitter float is pulled from the Macy's parade and replaced by a giant Whale balloon.
- Al Gore's 100th generation grandfather invents Palefacebook.
- Biggest Internet turkey ever? Yahoo passing on buying Google.
- First signs of conflict at Plymouth is between Scottish Mercenaries (Macs) and Puritan Colonists (PCs).

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