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[Oct. 9th, 2009|09:39 am] |
If the ladies really like a man in uniform, they'll be swooning when they see me in my snappy regulation orange prison jumpsuit.
Kim Moser
The other day, my wife told me she was a lesbian and that she wanted to date young women. I'm okay with that, though, as I've always thought it's good for couples to have a shared interest.
Paul B.
Whenever someone at work asks "Can you do me a favor?", I always reply with, "Does it involve a feather duster and a tub of margarine?" I already learned my lesson on that one.
Dan Thompson
The Top Signs You Take Your Fantasy League Too Seriously
- You can't get your picks finished because your son Whatshisname won't stop harassing his sister Whoever.
- "Megan, can you go study your lines or something? How am I supposed to focus on my Awesome Anglers Fantasy Fishing draft with your tongue in my ear?"
- You allow Devin from Accounting to take your 18-year-old daughter to Eroti-Con 2009 in exchange for his fourth-round draft pick.
- In the Cellblock D league, you got Adrian Peterson by trading your ass and a fresh-meat bitch to be named later.
- In a fit of rage, you stab your Alissa Czisny inflatable doll with your Official Brian Boitano Fan Club ice pick after she lost .10 for catching an edge on her salchow.
The Top Songs at the Navy Birthday Ball
- Born in the USN
- Dock Lobster
- Money for Knotting
- Smoked 'Em on the Water
- We Will Dock You
- Wet It Be
- Rock of AEGIS
- These Boats Are Made for Stalkin'
- I Scan Sea for Miles
- Take This Swab and Shove It
- Stand By Yeoman
- The Bollard of Billy the Squid
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