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[Oct. 6th, 2009|10:34 am] |
I know the opposite gets all the bad press, but I think "pants on your ants" would be far worse simply because of the ironing difficulties.
John Treusch
The Top Classes Offered at Internet University
- Public Speaking 101: How to Make Friends and Influence 14-Year-Olds on Facebook
- Remedial AOL for Seniors (senior citizens, not senior classmen)
- Ancient History: From Gopher to Usenet
- Speling n Grammer 4 Twitter
- Phishing and Social Engineering (online registration only)
- Mike Godwin: A Modern-Day Adolf Hitler
The Top Ways to Treat Worm Infections
- Inject people with fish eggs. They will hatch, and the fry will devour the worms.
- Early-bird infections.
- Tequila seems to kill them, so margaritas for everyone.
- Make the anti-worm treatment liver flavored, and people will snarf it down. It worked for the dog.
- Un-install the Windows immune system, and install the Linux immune system.
- Worms are like slugs, right? Thus a high-sodium diet should dry them out.
- Treat worm infections? I didn't know worms could get infected.
The Top Signs a Gas Station Is Haunted
- The "S" keeps mysteriously falling off the Shell sign.
- There is a mile-long line of goth chicks applying for a clerk position.
- I sure hope that's ectoplasm splattered all over the mens room.
- Choices at the pump: Unleaded, Premium, and Eternal Damnation.
- Bloodcurdling shrieks of tortured souls fill the air, but no SUV drivers are filling their gas tanks.
- You paid for unleaded. You got pea soup.
- A noxious cloud fills the Quick-Mart, but they've been out of microwave burritos for days.
- The best customers are four meddlesome kids and a talking dog in a psychedelic van.
- After 18 gallons, the gas pump handle suddenly switches off. ALL BY ITSELF!
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