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[Sep. 26th, 2009|12:26 pm] |
Like I told my wife, as you get older, there are some things you simply can't do as often as when you were first married. Fortunately, farting is not one of them.
Jerry L. Embry
A&E TV's show "Hoarders" investigates compulsive hoarders -- people who continually acquire large numbers of seemingly useless possessions to the point where the clutter begins to get in the way of the most basic of living activities.
The Top Signs You're a Hoarder
- That's not a slate floor -- the bottom layers of newspapers have been compressed into sedimentary rock.
- The problem isn't that you're digging another sub-sub-basement to store your junk, it's that now you need a place to store all the dirt you're digging up.
- You can't swing a dead cat without hitting another dead cat.
- Lucky for you you're a mohel, or you could get arrested for that particular collection.
- Every time you spot a garage sale, you get a hoard-on.
- The good news: Blackie didn't run away from home, after all! The bad news: The National Geographic avalanche of '98 hid his collar and bones until now.
- The local Chinese take-out place has your number on speed dial in case they run out of soy sauce packets.
- Your idea of "feng shui" is balancing your house full of useless crap with a garage full of bottled urine.
- Why does a grown man need 500 copies of "How to Perform a Self-Breast Exam"? Because they were free, that's why!
- But if you *use* the insulin, you won't have it anymore!
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