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[Sep. 22nd, 2009|07:47 am]
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In order to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony, it will be necessary to convert certain people to sopranos.
The Covert Comic

What kind of ungrateful two-year-old doesn't find the time to set up a Facebook account and send his dad some virtual birthday stripper flair?
Brad Simanek

I asked the doctor to help me with my chronic masturbation problem -- and I woke up from the anesthesia with TWO LOBSTER FISTS.
Gerry Drenkel


The Top Signs Your Co-Workers Hate Talk Like a Pirate Day

- Each of your hearty "Ahoy!"s is met with a frosty "Bite me, Eyepatch-Boy."
- Your choices: Keep it to yourself or walk the plank. From the 14th story.
- Someone pooped all over your shoulder, and there's not a parrot in sight.
- Getting a snack is difficult, what with the life-sized effigies of Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom hanging in front of the vending machines.
- People keep tacking notices to your peg leg. Only you don't *have* a peg leg.


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