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[Sep. 18th, 2009|08:10 am] |
I met a woman last night who said she would take me to heaven for $50. Damn these religious fanatics and their annoying fund-raising scams!
Lee Entrekin
When people offer me a beer and I tell them, "No thanks, I'm recovering," they misunderstand; I'm recovering from *last night* -- but give me an hour or two and I'll be back in action.
Stephanie S. Thompson
The Top Clergymen Pick-Up Lines
- "Thou shalt commit adultery -- with me."
- "What happens in the confession booth stays in the confession booth."
- "Hello, beautiful. Want to save the church from a huge settlement to a choir boy?"
- "You're a lapsed Catholic? Then how about a lapse dance?"
- "If you'd be so generous as to bring your delicious 7-layer-salad to the post-service potluck this week, I'd love to toss it for you."
The Top Songs at the Air Force Birthday Ball
- All You Need's Above
- Who Led the Dog Fights?
- Runway (My Little Runway)
- Deny Like an Eagle
- Bomber O'Riley
- Bennies on the Jets
- Highway 61 Retargeted
- Got to Get You Into My Sights
The Top Reasons for K-Fed's Weight Gain
- New paparazzi avoidance technique: Be ugly.
- The only thing in the universe that can replace the sweet tasty of Britney's lips: Taco Bell, baby!
- His favorite post-divorce game: Eat a whole pizza every time the ex-wife's privates show up on TMZ.
- He has to eat all the leftovers in the fridge each day to make room for more food.
- In order to properly protect Britney, he thought it best to eat her.
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