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[Sep. 2nd, 2009|07:51 am] |
Notice to all those who thought I have no life: Yesterday, I sent three tweets to Facebook, videotaped myself doing that, uploaded the clip to YouTube, then boasted about it in Second Life. Beat that, losers.
Maurizio Mariotti
The Top Signs Barbie Is Middle-Aged
- Started adopting Cabbage Patch Kids from every corner of the globe.
- Has started sharing outfits with Mrs. Potato Head.
- Ken's missing "appendage"? No longer an issue.
- New "Cougar Barbie" comes with leopard-print pants, extra make-up and Desperation Action Grip!
- Her most recent hot flash melted her fingers.
The Top Signs the Internet Was Invented by Men
- It lies about the size of its bandwidth.
- When you get an error, it's vague and doesn't really tell you anything.
- With e-mail, not only is it easy to ignore what ever your girlfriend is saying but you can move right to the Photoshopped pictures that your friends keep sending you.
- It wastes loads of time, gets fatter every day, and serves no useful purpose.
- Routers! That way a packet doesn't have to stop and ask for directions.
- Ever notice how Google's always asking you if you're "feeling lucky"?
- Data is often lost or incorrect due to a fear of commitment.
- Five minutes after you're through surfing the web, your screen just goes to sleep.
The Top Uses for Transparent Aluminum
- Invisible cans of Sprite and 7-Up.
- House siding that lets the natural beauty of the DuPont Tyvek wrap shine through.
- Paranoid schizophrenics can still show off their nice hair.
- To see when it's time to clean out the gutters.
- Aluminum siding that allows a home to have all the benefits of a glass house, plus the ability to throw stones!
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