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[Aug. 23rd, 2009|07:07 pm] |
Drinking alone tonight and feeling bad about it? Here's a tip: Just change the tint to red on your TV screen and voila! Everyone's an alcoholic!
Stephanie S. Thompson
Never look a gift horse in the mouth. Oh, and take it from me: Looking up the other end doesn't exactly work wonders for your rep with the other cowboys.
Brad Osberg
The Top Ways Movies Are Better Than a Barbeque
- There's people at the movies whose job it is to clean up after you.
- The only gross-looking ribs involved are on the anorexic actresses.
- Both probably involve two hours of agonizing torture, but movie theaters have air conditioning.
- That "Bruno" flick didn't run out of buns halfway through.
- No animals were killed, skinned and roasted in the making of the movie.
- Clint Eastwood's face has better grill lines.
- When giant ants attack, they call in the military.
- Movies: Jessica Biel stripping.
BBQ: Fat, sweaty, shirtless neighbor mowing his lawn.
- In a movie, you always outrun the giant fireball.
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