|
[Jul. 21st, 2009|09:04 am] |
They say the French have a word for everything. Well, so do the Germans, except theirs is usually eight syllables long and sounds like they're coughing up a lung. Ian Dauphinee
Even though Gaia is angry at humans for damaging the biosphere, I think deep down she feels proud of us, too. The Covert Comic
My wife told me that picking my nose is disgusting. Great -- now I've got to do it myself. Simon Richardson
The Top Signs Your Spouse Has Another Family
- The society page keeps mentioning some other Dr. & Mrs. Ragnar Q. Smirkovich. - Claims the photos are of his twin brother's family -- the twin brother he forgot to mention until now. - In his pants pockets you find a condom wrapper, a purchase agreement for a condominium and a rather small adopted Malawian boy. - Although you have no kids, he got two child car-seats because he thinks "they look cool." - Under "Spouse's Name" on a recent loan application, he put "See attached spreadsheet."
The Top Horror Movies Michael Jackson Could Have Made
- "Creature From the Formerly Black Lagoon" - "Whatever Happened to Macaulay Culkin?" - "The Surgical Masque of the Red Death" - "The Hills Have No Noses" - "I Know What You Bleached Last Summer" - "I Moonwalked with a Zombie" - "Dr. Jacko & Pasty Hyde" - "Fried Hair the 13th"
The Top Ways to Make Sex More Fun
- "Oops It Broke!" joke condoms - Install a bottle opener between your breasts - Convince a couple of your wacky Amish neighbors to come over for a "naked barn-raising." - Role playing: Lindsey Graham and Sonia Sotomayor - Two words: whoopee mattress - Dress up like Harry Potter. And ask your husband to wear the Hermione outfit. - Try it with a partner - Negotiate a lower price for the happy ending - Loosen the rope (David Carradine only)
No TopFive.com |
|
|