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[Jul. 14th, 2009|09:51 am] |
The Top Signs a Ghost Hunter Is Insane
- Walks around the attic asking "Can you hear me now?" - His exorcism seems to include a lot of balloon animals. - Sure, it drives out the ghosts, but Fran Drescher's laugh on an endless loop does that to live people too. - Stands you in front of the air vent to feel "the cold presence." - You find him sniffing your wife's panties "for traces of ectoplasm." - Slides over to your urinal and yells, "Don't cross the streams!"
The Top Signs Your Government Is Hiding Things From You
- A White House press secretary's lips are moving, and breath is being expelled through his or her vocal chords. - Your Congressman is in the stall next to you, tapping out secret messages with his foot. - Hours before the "Was the moon landing a hoax?" episode of MythBusters airs, both hosts are badly hurt when they fall up a flight of stairs. - The answer to every White House press conference question: "Who'd like to go to Disney World?!?" - Congressional toilet paper now being shredded before being flushed.
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