| |
[May. 22nd, 2009|09:01 am] |
Scientists tell us if you put an infinite number f monkeys on an infinite number of typewriters and ive them enough time, they'll eventually produce he complete works of Shakespeare. What they forgot o mention is that in the meantime, the chimps will e banging out a steady stream of seriously bad rap like "CSI: Miami" and "Keeper Martin's Tale."
Jim Evarts
My doctor just said I have something called "natural causes." Should I be worried?
Bob Van Voris
I'm one who prefers to let sleeping dogs lie. I also favor letting humping dogs hump with- out hose-fire. I draw the line at letting butt-dragging dogs butt-drag on the carpet, though -- I mean, my kid *plays* there!
Brad Simanek
The plastic cap protector thingy on the bottle of chocolate milk I got with my lunch said "PULL TAB AND TEAR AROUND" -- so I did. Now I'm out of breath, I have chocolate milk stains on my clothes and I'm banned from the food court.
Sandra Hull
I was thrilled when I first saw the assortment of leather, whips and chains my wife had carefully arranged on our bed. That feeling quickly changed, however, when she told me she'd found it all in our daughter's closet.
Jim Woodruff
If the IRS wanted to put something really useful on their website, how about a list of countries that *don't* have an extradition treaty with the U.S.?
Brad Osberg
No TopFive.com |
|
|
