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[May. 7th, 2009|02:02 pm] |
I,__________________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it, or lawyers/doctors interested in simply running up the bills. If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:
Glass of wine
Chocolate
Margarita
Salty nuts
Martini
Cold Beer
Chocolate
Brownies
Mexican food
Chocolate
French fries
Chocolate
Pizza
Ice cream
Twinkies
Chocolate
Chocolate
Glass of wine
Chocolate
It should be presumed that I won't ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes, let the 'fat lady sing,' and call it a day!
***
Two blondes with hammers, Carol and Donna, were doing some carpenter work on a Habitat for Humanity house. Carol, who was nailing down house siding, would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail, and either toss it
over her shoulder or nail it in.
Donna, figuring this was worth looking into, asked,
"Why are you throwing those nails away?"
Carol explained, "When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end , and I throw them away."
Donna got completely upset and yelled, "You moron! Those nails aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!" |
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