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[Apr. 30th, 2009|08:34 am] |
Sometimes I wish my personal demons had a little more imagination.
The Covert Comic
In life, you get what you pay for. Except with life insurance -- then someone else gets what you pay for.
Tom Sims
Sometimes, when my fellow mathletes and I feel threatened, we'll quietly recite pi for as many digits as we can. And sure enough, despite the saying that there's safety in numbers, we usually get our asses kicked.
Wiley
I see dead people around my apartment all the time. Probably because my cable box is stuck on Turner Classic Movies.
Jenn McNanna
The Top Indications Harry Potter Is Going Through Puberty
- Made his lightning-shaped forehead scar into a Grateful Dead tattoo.
- Turned his owl into a Hooters waitress.
- Last spell learned? "The Incantation of the Unscrambled Spice Channel."
- No longer invited to sleepovers at Neverland Castle.
- "Erectius concealioso!"
The Top Appropriate Ways to Die on the Job
- Proctologist: Assfixiated.
- Roofer: Shingles.
- Pilot: Flu.
- Standup comedian: Killed.
- Actuary: Struck by lightning. Twice. Indoors.
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