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[Mar. 26th, 2009|08:23 am] |
The police have finally made an arrest in that "3 AM Slasher" case. Good thing, too; last night I got a decent night's sleep for the first time since I slashed victim #1's throat two years ago.
Jerry L. Embry
I think the hardest part about being a single dad would be making sure your kid likes his potential new mom -- which is why you should just lower your expectations and hit on the lady giving away free Totino pizza roll samples at Sam's Club.
Brad Simanek
The Top Office Cafeteria Etiquette Rules
- Bring a limburger and sardine garlic roll and you're eating alone.
- "Don't ask, don't tell" applies to the special of the day.
- You may save money by eating the "daily special", but only until the medical bills arrive.
- Avoid "smelly" experiments when afternoon meetings are scheduled.
- Cafeterias should be segregated into the Curry Lunchroom, and the Non-Curry Lunchroom.
- If you wouldn't put it on your desk, don't put it in the fridge!
- If you hear "BAM!" from the kitchen, chances are a) they didn't hire Emeril to be your chef and b) the hamburgers will be very fresh but will take a few extra minutes to prepare.
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