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[Mar. 24th, 2009|09:26 am]
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When all is said and done, at least we won't have to hear this cliche anymore.
The Covert Comic

Each night I gaze wonderingly at the sky and ask the stars above, "How the HELL do I close the top of my convertible?"
Jilly G.

Originally I was skeptical about the marriage my parents had arranged for me, but time has proven that Josette the Three-Headed Girl from Siam is an excellent mother to our children, not to mention an astoundingly tireless kisser.
Mike Csorbay

Instead of always trying to get the milk for free, I finally bought the cow. Now, a few years later it's getting tougher to get milk from my cow, so I figured I would just rent a cow for an hour or two, and my cow wouldn't be any wiser. Unfortunately, the arresting officer doesn't seem to be getting the analogy.
Wiley

It's not a real surprise party unless you don't know who you're giving it for.
The Covert Comic

I really like the way they pump music into the men's restrooms nowadays. Sometimes, while taking a whiz, I get to dancing and twirling and just having fun. The other guys don't much care for it much, though.
Walter Means

I'm told fatherhood is the ultimate test of a man. Of course, none of this would be necessary if that condom manufacturer had just come up with a slightly tougher test of its own.
Brad Osberg

No TopFive.com
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