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[Mar. 12th, 2009|01:26 pm] |
Maternity & Motherhood
FIRST BABY: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
SECOND BABY: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
THIRD BABY: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
PREPARING FOR THE BIRTH
FIRST BABY: You practice your breathing religiously.
SECOND BABY: You don't bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.
THIRD BABY: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month
THE BABY CLOTHES
FIRST BABY: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, colour co-ordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
SECOND BABY: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
THIRD BABY: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
WORRIES
FIRST BABY: At the first sign of distress -a whimper, a frown - you pick up the baby.
SECOND BABY: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
THIRD BABY: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing
DUMMIES
FIRST BABY: If the dummy falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and sterilise it.
SECOND BABY: When the dummy falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
THIRD BABY: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
NAPPY CHANGING
FIRST BABY: You change your baby's nappies every hour, whether they need it or not.
SECOND BABY: You change their nappy every two to three hours, if needed.
THIRD BABY: You try to change their nappy before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.
ACTIVITIES
FIRST BABY: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
SECOND BABY: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
THIRD BABY: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.
GOING OUT
FIRST BABY: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.
SECOND BABY: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
THIRD BABY: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
AT HOME
FIRST BABY: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
SECOND BABY: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
THIRD BABY: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
SWALLOWING COINS
FIRST CHILD: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.
SECOND CHILD: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
THIRD CHILD: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance! |
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