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[Feb. 25th, 2009|11:15 am]
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I just returned from a vacation in Winnipeg, which is an old Cree Indian word meaning "hypothermia."
Skip Tucker

There's a perception of me that I'm foolish with my money, with dozens of people having offered to sell me the Brooklyn Bridge. Well, if I'm so gullible, why am holding back and letting this bidding war drive the price down before I buy?
Brad Simanek

It's a good thing I don't have a job. If I did, I wouldn't have all day long to stand in this friggin' unemployment line.
Stephanie Shiner-Thompson

Day after day, the same guy keeps taking my favorite parking space at work, so I keep keying the sides of his car. And each morning, he shows up again with it painted a new color and with a different license plate, just to confuse me. Ha! Try again, Einstein!
Donald Junter

David Copperfield isn't so great. Fifty years ago, my grandfather was a magician and he made the Statue of Liberty disappear a bunch of times. Of course, his show was in Sioux City, Iowa, so the audience pretty much had to take his word for it.
Anthony Myers
No TopFive.com
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