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[Jan. 30th, 2009|12:40 pm] |
My boss said that if I don't start coming in on time, he's going to fire me. Well, the joke's on him, because I was taken off payroll over a year ago!
Mark Wolfe
I call my retriever puppy "Skipper" because he bounces two or three times every time I throw him out of the boat. He seems to like it though, unlike like his predecessor, Mr. Drowny.
Michael Cunningham
The Top Lines We'd LOVE to Hear in a "Star Wars" Movie
- Yoda: "Big these ears are, and breathe through them I can. Now, the nasty must we do!"
- Princess Leia: "You're my BROTHER? Well, actually, that kinda turns me on."
- Anakin: "MAN, Amidala, you've got a nice pair of tauntauns!"
- Shmi Skywalker: "So, you had to be a Jedi. You couldn't have maybe been a doctor?"
- Jedi Master Letterman: "Amidala, Barbarella. Barbarella, Amidala."
- Luke: "C'mon, Uncle Owen, we've already GOT a protocol 'droid. *PLEASE* can I get the sex 'droid?!?"
- Obi-Wan: "Congratulations, Jar Jar. Jedi University has chosen you to be the subject of their next biology lab."
- Yoda: "Strong is The Force in this one... and large are the hooters on THIS one!"
- Mace Windu: "And womp rat might taste like pumpkin pie, but I'll never know, 'cause I'll never eat the dirty mother*&!%#."
- Yoda: "My 'English for Dummies' book! Missing it is. Seen it, have you?"
- Amidala: "That 'show me your light saber' trick was cute when you were 8, Anakin. Now put your pants back on."
- Jar Jar Binks: "Doctor saysa meesa gotsa cancer. Meesa only livesa another month."
- Anakin: "Not tonight, Amidala -- I'm too tired. Just take my light saber and put it on 'vibrate'."
- Yoda: "Full of asthma, he is. Much noisy breathing in his future, I sense."
- Darth Gates: "Our Jedi clones are almost ready, too. May I introduce: Windu 95, Windu 98, Windu 2000 and Windu XP."
- Jar Jar Binks: "Lawzy, Miz Amidala -- Meesa don't know nothin' 'bout birthin' no Jedi."
- Yoda: "Dude, was I talking weird again last night? I always talk like that when I'm wasted."
- Jabba the Hutt: "...and a Diet Coke to drink."
- Darth Vader: "Hello, AOL tech support? You have failed me for the last time..."
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