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[Nov. 28th, 2008|11:20 am]
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The Top Events Which Will Void Your Warranty

- Connection to 4160 Volts. Trust me, this'll void your warranty in a heartbeat. It'll also void your heartbeat.
- Rectal insertion.
- Left-handed use. That'll void almost ANY warranty.
- Biting it if it isn't food, or plumbing with it if it is.
- Once your boss discovers that you've been using the Automatic Defibrilator to zap your frozen burritos because you're too damned lazy to wait your turn at the microwave, warranty issues will be the least of your worries, chief.
- Any act of God, such as, for example, the creation of friction, gravity and human carelessness.
- Slathering it with mayonnaise, lassoing a neighbor's car and riding it down Main Street.

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