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[Nov. 8th, 2008|10:38 am] |
Just when I think I've finally met the perfect woman, I discover that she's too tall to fit into any of my mom's old clothes.
Andy Ihnatko
The Top Sex-Related Changes Under a Democrat Administration
- The White House tailor will certainly noticed a pronounced swing to the left.
- Okay to change positions without first getting Karl Rove's OK.
- Oprah and Stedman FINALLY get to do it in the Lincoln bedroom (assuming Oprah and Stedman actually do it in the first place).
- Now rich folks will take it in the ass for a while.
- Secretary of the Treasury and Health and Human Services combined into one position: Secretary of the Booty.
- The nation's wealthiest men are forced to hand over Viagra to low-income slackers who don't even TRY to get boners.
- Joe Biden brags about his sexual exploits, only to have the press point out they sound suspiciously like those in "9 1/2 Weeks."
- When screwing a Republican, a "reach around" is now referred to as a "reach across the aisle."
- Out: female Secretaries of State who look like men.
In: male Secretaries of State who look like women.
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