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[Sep. 9th, 2008|06:21 pm] |
The Top "Self-Help" Books Written by Lawyers
- Pay My Bill and You're OK
- Defending Your Honor, Your Honor
- Discovering the Better Lawyer Within... And Billing for *Him*, Too!
- Lawyer, Depose Thyself!
- Ethical Twinges, and How to Suppress Them
- Chicken Soup for the Sleazy Corporate Lawyer's Soul
- There's a Heart In There Somewhere, You Ruthless Bastard!
- Zen and the Art of Suing the Crap Out of People
The Top Uses for an Invisibility Cloak
- MUCH better than being a fly on the wall during meetings.
- Saddam used his to hide the WMDs.
- Convincing old Mrs. Nelson down the street that all her pet cats talk back to her.
- Secretly replace *everything* with Folger's Crystals.
- I wouldn't know, I can't find it.
- Use it to steal three more invisibility cloaks.
- If you wrap it around your visible infra-red-invisibility cloak, you can be *totally* undetectable.
The Top Things Overheard at a Mad Scientist Convention
- "If an 8 ft. guy happens to page me, I'm not here."
- "Don't mind me, that's just the formaldehyde talking."
- "I need to recharge my electric shaver. Anyone know if a lightning storm is coming?"
- "Based on lunch, someone should nominate that hotel caterer for membership."
- "Wait, don't tell me... I never forget a hump."
- "... and special thanks to Haliburton for sponsoring the hospitality room."
- "I keep telling the barber I want that 'Art Garfunkel' look, but no luck."
- "The IRS recruitment booth is in Aisle 5."
- "Is that a neck bolt in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"
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