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[Aug. 12th, 2008|02:29 pm] |
If hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and the road to hell is paved with good intentions, then wouldn't it make sense that the path to a woman's scorn is paved with the best of intentions?
Jim Kurtz
The greatest joy in my world is the look on a young child's face, when I've just told him that I found his lost puppy, when he has come to my door looking for him, because the dog was lost, because I stole the dog from his yard and held him in my garage, just to see that look on that young child's face.
Jim KurtzTom Caldwell)
The Top Reasons Chemistry Is Better Than Physics
- If you make a mistake, you have time to hide before the smoke clears.
- Chemistry actually *makes* stuff.
- Such interesting smells!
- You can't make whiskey with physics.
- You may still be a nerd, but at least you're a nerd with spontaneously bubbling concoctions.
- Because you never have to have that awkward party conversation explaining the difference between Physics and Psychics.
- Love potions are better than hitting prospective mates over the head with a club.
The Top Things You'll Never Overhear at a Dot-Com Startup
- "I'm in this for the long haul and have no intention of cashing out with an IPO."
- "This year's profits have exceeded our expectations."
- "Hmmm, good question. Let's consult our business plan."
- "There's no room for a foosball table in a serious company like this."
- "I really doubt it will work, so let's try it on a small scale first."
- "Our goal is to be the next Pets.com."
- "Well, you just tell your boss to bring it on! We're not afraid of Microsoft!"
- "Thanks, but we already have enough venture capital."
The Top Signs Your Summer Camp Has a Killer on the Loose
- The guy sitting next to you is toasting his marshmallows on the blade of his chainsaw.
- You finally got head from Dawn Nuccio. You just didn't expect to find it in your foot locker.
- "Your bloody head on a pike" is scratched permanently into the "Today's Special" blackboard.
- Lights out at 9. Knives out at 10.
- It's been years since anyone survived late-night skinny dipping.
- The only craft offered is making tattooed leather lamp shades.
- The camp's posted "Teenagers Fornicating in the Woods" Threat Level has been elevated to red.
- Your shoes are stored neatly together under your bed. Your bunkmate's shoes are strewn 20 yards apart by the edge of the woods.
- The creepy camp media tech is taking pre-orders of "I Know What's Going to Happen to You This Summer"
- The first item on your scavenger hunt? Sally's spleen.
- Your "Cabin Mom" is Jamie Lee Curtis and even she's starting to look a little nervous.
- Your camp counselors have no other film credits.
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