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[Aug. 5th, 2008|10:23 am] |
The Top Things Overheard at Bill Gates' Retirement Party
- "Uh, an iPhone and matching iPod. How, er, thoughtful of you."
- "401K? I have $40.1B, beyotch!"
- "You know how some retirees get a gold watch? Well, they bought him Big Ben."
- "Yeah, I know I was gone a while. The stupid toilet kept asking me, 'Are you *sure* you want to flush now?'"
- "640 billion dollars ought to be enough for anybody."
- "Watch out, Ballmer is hammered and trying to use Surface to copy his butt."
- "I would have had more money saved if everyone hadn't responded to that chain email."
- "Poor guy. It's at least 10 years until his Social Security checks start coming in."
The Top Reasons Physics Is Better Than Chemistry
- Physics has bigger toys.
- Because the Physics building doesn't have the hydrogen sulfide and solvent stench that permeates every square millimeter of the Chemistry building.
- Because the title "Theoretical Chemist" just sounds lame.
- Because no one has ever died from Black Hole Poisoning.
- "There's great Chemistry between us" may sound good, but it doesn't compare to "There's great Physics between us."
- Creating explosives is fun, but direct conversion of mass to energy, now *that's* some BOOM!
- You get a MUCH better workout wearing a lead-lined lab coat.
- Chemists have test tubes. Physicists study bodies in motion.
- If the attraction is big enough, Physics is only interested in movement while Chemistry wants to bond first.
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