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Jul. 30th, 2008|02:05 pm |
The Top Management Reasons for Not Giving Raises in 2008
- "It is part of our LEAN initiative: less money to live on, less food to eat, the leaner you get."
- "It's not in the quarterly fiscal budget per the addendum to paragraph C in the Red handbook based off footnote G in the last fiscal period."
- "The filet mignon that I feed my pets has become more expensive."
- "Someone has to pay for the gas in the CEO's Escalade."
- "The more you get, the more you'll spend. And we don't want to encourage that kind of runaway, compulsive behavior."
- "Still trying to get back our profits from investing in Enron."
- "Less money = less paper = saving the rainforests."
The Top Dr. Kevorkian Campaign Slogans
- All the Way With Dr. K.!
- Give Me Liberty or Give Me-- Ah, Screw It. Just Give Me Death!
- Kiss Your Troubles (and Loved Ones) Goodbye!
- Giving a Whole New Meaning to "Population Control"
- A Chicken in Every Pot, a Running Car in Every Closed Garage
- The Breath Stops Here
- Mourning Again in America
- The Best Creepy Death-Stare Since Laura Bush!
- Solving the Social Security Crisis, One Sick Grandma at a Time
- Rocking the Euth Vote!
- Vote or Die! No, Really. We Mean It.
- Better Than a Slow, Painful Death by Taxation
- The (Gan)Green Alternative!
- Finally, a President Who REALLY Wants to See Bin Laden Dead
- Would It Kill You to Vote for Dr. Jack? No, But It Might If You DON'T!
- Read My Cold, Blue Lips: No More Estate "Death Tax!"
- Better Dead Than... Well, Just Better Dead
- Jack Kevorkian: Changes We Can Live With. Or Not.
- Sometimes the Best Man for the Job Is Really, Really Creepy
- Because Grave Issues Require Out-of-the-Box Thinking
- Did Somebody Say "Exit Strategy"?
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