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[Jul. 2nd, 2008|10:38 am] |
If I ever won the lottery, I would give it all to charity: "The Tom Sims Foundation for the betterment of Tom Sims." Tom Sims
The Top Benefits of Working from Home
- Fart with impunity (although it's really no difference from the office.) - Holding staff meetings in your pajamas gives you a weird sense of power not experienced in the office. - No more fighting over the use of the company microwave. - No more of those *&^#%$! "Office Safety" videos! - No porn filter. - When someone swipes your lunch from the fridge, you can pretty much narrow it down to one of three people. - Only your spouse looks at you funny when you play your "Hannah Montana" CDs. - Photocopy your ass whenever the mood siezes you! - "I'm booked then, but I can squeeze you in after my one-hour meeting with Oprah." - Ditch the ear buds and rock out to Public Enemy on Volume 11. - Diminished incidence of sexual harassment complaints. - Every day is Casual Day, Friday is now Naked Day.
The Top Fun Facts About Chinese Hip-Hop
- The Wu-Tang Clan? Actually a family of farmers from Wu-Tang Province. - Still illegal to play anything by Boyz Tiananmen. - When the "lead flies" in the Chinese hip-hop turf wars, it's because the artists heaving toys at each other. - Many songs about appreciating and honoring the fine work done by Chinese police officers. - Only one child per babymama. - Several top stars got their big breaks on The Mickey Mao Club. - The martial arts are paid homage to by the Chinese rap group The Chuck Norris Clan. - Although he was acquitted of indecent behavior, not everyone believes Peking Tomm was innocent. - Drive-by shootings are a bitch, especially when you're the one pulling the rickshaw. - Chinese hip-hop rule #1: Never call anyone "dawg" in a restaurant. - No clever hip-hop name needed for rapper Wan Phat Ho.
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