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[Jun. 16th, 2008|08:07 am] |
Going over that steel-grate bridge every morning makes the car vibrate and it feels so good that I moan and groan out loud in pleasure. Too bad it freaks out the driving instructor.
Jill Gallagher
My psychiatrist told me that if I didn't overcome my animosity towards authority figures, I find myself in deep trouble. So I kicked his ass. Bet he'll think twice before he threatens me again.
Jerry L. Embry
My cat has been missing for over a week. I wonder if my neighbor's curiosity has anything to do with it.
Chris McCleary
The Top Dr. Seuss Erotica Excerpts
"I cannot do it in a bar.
I cannot do it in a car.
I cannot do it now, you see;
'cause babe, I *really* need to pee."
"Fox in socks cockblocks Knox.
No pox on jocks, but her box reeks lox."
"Felicia fellated the Sneetch-rods with stars,
But ignored the poor stiffs who had none upon thars."
"The women in Ho-ville liked Grinch a lot;
Grinch actually knew how to find the G-spot."
"I like seafood. I am Sam.
I'm at the restaurant, I am.
I tell the waitress, softly, 'Ma'am,
I'd like to try your bearded clam.'"
"Bartholomew Cubbins gathered his wits;
He couldn't say no to that ass and those tits!"
"He thought, 'Good sex is NOT a pill from the store.'
Maybe good sex means a little bit more.
And all Grinch's girlfriends are now heard to say
That Grinch's small prick grew 12 inches that day."
"I do not like it with some sass.
I do not like it in my ass.
I do not like green balls and ham!
I don't swing that way, Sam-I-am!"
"I hear your name's Horton.
Well I am a Who.
Is that a trunk that you're sportin,
Or glad to see me are you?'"
"Then he undid her clasp,
And her bra -- off it flew!
And the kids said hello to
Thing One and Thing Two."
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