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[May. 20th, 2008|02:41 pm] |
As I dropped my pants to expose my fleshy posterior, I said that my fear of needles obligated me to receive shots there. Unfortunately, my ass being numb didn't seem to offset the pain from the root canal.
Brad Simanek
If Earth is really just a grain of sand in the universe, I'll bet we're stuck in God's Speedo and we're driving him nuts.
Brad Osberg
You put your right hand in, you put your right hand out. You put your right hand in and shake it all about. Good for doing the hokey pokey; not so much for trying to figure out why your wood chipper stalled.
Paul B.
The Top Rejected Web Site Marketing Slogans
- iTunes: "All the non-Beatles music you could ever want"
- NBC.com: "It's all repeats here, too."
- AOL: "Your partners in ignorance and stupidity"
- eBay.com: "Cash for crap, crap for cash"
- Hormel.com: "Register for free Spam!"
- Microsoft.com: "Your money = our passion"
- Google: "We're sorry, we couldn't hear you over the sound of how awesome we are"
- MySpace: "Geocities for the New Millennium"
- YouTube: "Yep, we've got drunk Britney!"
- Playboy.com: "The cold light of the computer screen is as close as you're ever going to get"
- Wikipedia: "This Wikipedia ad is a stub. You can help by writing it."
The Top 5 Ways Science Can Reduce Food Prices
- If we rely on economies of scale, then obviously the answer is to genetically engineer giant vegetables.
- By implanting visions of a Henry Kissinger sex tape directly into people's minds, scientists will instantly reduce the population's appetite, thereby driving down demand and, subsequently, food costs.
- Start explaining to people what's in hot dogs.
- Make money edible, thereby reducing the inefficiencies inherent in converting money to food.
- Improve the palatability of switch grass.
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