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[May. 13th, 2008|10:30 am] |
The Top Differences If Lawyers Ran Beauty Pageants
- After the appeals process ran its course, Miss America 2008 would finally be crowned in June 2013.
- The runner up Miss Alabama did a fantastic dance routine but the winner Miss New York dazzled the judges with her talent for tabulating billable hours.
- The contestants would all have a duty to disclose, and the ratings would go through the roof.
- Each contestant would be allowed to remove a member of the judging panel.
- The swimsuit competition is replaced by the pantsuit competition.
- Younger contestants would do all the work, but the older contestants would take the crown.
The Top New Momma Insults
- Your momma's so fat, they're launching "Google Your Momma."
- Your momma is so fat her BMI is triple digits.
- Your momma's so fat that when she texts her fingers press all the keys at once.
- Your momma's so mean she *PERSONALLY* tests her makeup on lab animals.
- Your momma's so fat that she needs two MySpace pages to fit.
- Your momma's so mean, AOL says "Ain't nobody sent you no mail!"
- Your mamma's so fat, Mapquest gives directions on how to get around her ass.
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