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[Apr. 7th, 2008|11:25 am]
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The Top Signs You're the Reincarnation of Abraham Van Helsing

- Home Depot gives you a bulk order discount on mallets and wooden stakes.
- You will only eat your Count Chocula with a silver spoon.
- I'm not really sure if I'm Van Helsing reincarnated, but if that line gets me closer to Kate Beckinsale, then so be it.
- Doesn't everyone keep a super soaker filled with holy water by the door?
- Every time you stake your tomato plants, you're compelled to scream "Die, Monster, Die!"
- Every year, the same thing: another unfortunate misunderstanding, another sudden move to a new town, another ruined Halloween for some poor kid with plastic fangs.
- You know exactly what size crucifix fits your glove compartment.
- Long story short: You noticed your blind date had an overbite. Now you're in jail and she's in therapy.

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