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[Feb. 12th, 2008|10:07 am] |
The Federal Aviation Authority is concerned that terrorists could use Boeing's new 787 Dreamliner's in-flight Internet system to connect to "systems critical to the safety and maintenance of the aircraft."
The Top Signs Your Plane's In-Flight Entertainment System Was Hacked
- The safety announcement suggests installing anti-virus software.
- The guy in the seat next to you is playing a flight simulator that is *also* making a hard turn to starboard.
- "Ladies and Gentlemen, our landing will be slightly delayed until we can clear all these pop-up ads from the radar screens."
- "If Billy scores less than 50,000 points per minute, this plane will explode."
- "Welcome aboard, ladies and d00ds."
- The pilot announces, "Enough is enough! I've had it with these motherf***ing geeks on this motherf***ing plane!"
- "Welcome to British Airways flight BA038 to London. Click here to turn off your plane."
Messages beamed from Earth may be too boring for aliens to respond to them
The Top Ways to Make Our Messages More Interesting for Aliens
- Two words: Astrophysicist Idol.
- Just post the message on YouTube.
- Flash subliminal hard core anal probe pics in between the real frames.
- Have J.K. Rowling write "Harry Potter and the Message From Earth to All Intelligent Beings."
- Try being disinterested and indifferent to their attentions. It works on girls, so it might work on aliens.
- "Boy, we have so many resources that we don't know what to do with them all. We sure hope that nobody tries to take them all from us."
- Include a news item about the Earth vaporizing another planet for failing to respond to our "Greetings of Peace".
- Spend the extra bucks and broadcast them as a commercial during the Super Bowl.
- "We, the supreme rulers of the Planet Earth, declare war on your trivial little planet and within 5 days will destroy it."
- Send out a message offering "incredible power in bed". There are billions of stars in our galaxy; a few of them are going to respond.
- Set up Earth's "Planetbook" page.
- Gradually shift the frequency of the message that we're sending so it appears that Earth is moving faster than the speed of light.
- "In strictest confidence, I write to you today to advise you of the death of one iLoyyt Mjuyrya from the planet Koozbain who left an estate of 87,00,000 drytensies. As his attorney, I am seeking your help...."
- Screw the prime numbers; let's get really crazy and broadcast the first 100 integers numbers that can also be expressed as the sum of two cubes.
- Frankly, it's too late as all alien cultures now use a spam filter which excludes all Earth-based messages.
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