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[Aug. 18th, 2007|12:55 pm]
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The Top Signs There Won't Be a Sequel

- In the original, the main character is eating onion rings with his family, the guy in the Members Only jacket uses the rest room, and then the screen just goes black. 'cause that kinda ties everything up and leaves no room for a sequel.
- Let's see... the ship sank and the boyfriend is a block of ice at the bottom of the ocean. Ain't much farther to go with that one, Jimbo.
- The movie studio isn't buying that a terminator cyborg from the future uses a laser-guided, missile-launching walker.
- The star has been taken to the mother ship.
- The entire cast has jointly filed suit to prevent the producer from coming within 150 yards of them.
- Two thumbs down from the director's mom.
- Directed by Alan Smithee, Starring Alan Smithee, Cinematography by Alan Smithee, Catering by Alan Smithee...

Van Halen has announced a 25-city concert tour with original singer David Lee Roth. The tour will commence in late September, leaving plenty of time for the band to break up before then.

The Top Songs Van Halen *Should* Play

- Tragical Misery Tour
- Whiter Shade of Stale
- Is Eddie's Body Out There?
- Fields of Mold
- Nap the Night Away
- Knock, Knock, Knockin' on Betty Ford's Door
- To All the Now-Utterly-Revolted Girls I've Loved Before
- Hot For T-Shirt (Sales)
- Where Have All the Groupies Gone?
- Limp!
- Take My Meth Away
- Why Can't This Be Done?
- My Degeneration
- Sammy's Cryin'

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