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[Aug. 16th, 2007|08:11 am] |
The Top Things We Wish We Had Never Said
- "Those spike-heeled boots and that silk teddy accentuate your already stunning figure, Master Drill Sergeant, sir!!"
- "An Amway-selling Scientologist? How fascinating! Come right on in."
- "Falco! Dude, you gotta check out this Mozart record of my dad's! This guy rocks!"
- "Another goth vampire wannabe? Bite me!"
- "What luck! I was afraid this audit was going to be for my *other* Social Security number!"
- "Fifty bucks says I can stick my penis through that electric fence without touching the sides."
- "Hey, for a laugh, let's trick those godless Americans into *thinking* we've got weapons of mass destruction when all we've really got are mountains of sand!"
- "Hey! Easy with the ruler, Mother Superior. That's my whackin' hand."
- "I'm not paying to have it dry-cleaned -- it's from the Gap, for God's sake! Just put a little club soda on it and it'll come right out, Monica."
- "Officer, would you like to hear my theory of the nightstick and how it compensates for undersized male genitalia?"
- "Go ahead and marry her, Dad. I'm sure Anna Nicole really loves you."
- "I'll bet a splash of Aqua Velva would feel refreshing on my newly shaved scrotum."
- "Hey, if I'm going to get drunk and pass out, the safest place to do it is right here in my own frat house."
- "Please, God, just let me pass this final and I promise I'll never smoke pot again as long as I live."
- "Okay, fine! That dress *does* make your butt look big! Happy now, Ms. Bloated Water Retaining Menstrual Cramp?!?"
- "Hey, man, let's celebrate tonight's concert by *all* of us getting Milli Vanilli tattoos!"
- "No, Britney, I think we should wait until we're out of high school to have sex."
- "Mr President, as Director of the CIA, I believe it's my responsibility to inform you that Saddam Hussein has been making fun of the way you pronounce the word 'nuclear.'"
- "I bet your breasts would look great in zero gravity."
- "We're sorry, Ms. Rowling, we just can't imagine this whole wizard thing catching on with today's kids."
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