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[Apr. 20th, 2007|10:09 am]
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The Top Signs You Go to Too Many Movies

- You blink 24 times a second.
- You constantly wear a welder's mask so that you see everything in perfect 16:9.
- The commercials they show before the movie mention you by name.
- You have a seat in the theater with a custom-fitted ass print.
- Roger Ebert thinks you should get out of the theater and get some exercise.
- Your idea of a balanced breakfast is a bowl of Sno-Caps and a 64-ounce glass of Coke.
- Foreplay consists of telling your wife, "Please turn off your cell phone. No loud talking. Now sit back, relax, and enjoy the show!"
- You're the reason Gigli was able to stay in the Top 10 on the first week.

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