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[Apr. 19th, 2007|08:29 pm]
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The Top Signs a Newspaper Reporter Isn't Being Completely Honest

- His "Crime Beat" report reads exactly like last week's episode of CSI.
- All interviews she turns in are accompanied by a nonchalant, "He's still alive, right?"
- Starts every story with "I never thought it could happen to me, but there I was alone in my dorm...."
- She backs up every claim with a confident "Sources close to my imagination say...."
- List of corrections has recently become larger than the sports section.
- His latest headline: "President's New Tax Plan Benefits Hotties Willing to Sleep With This Reporter."
- "And then the thief charged $20,000 to your credit card? How horrible! What's the number on your new card?"
- His expense account only lists hallucinogens.

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