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[May. 19th, 2008|07:51 am] |
Рамки приличия особенно удобны тем, что они раздвижные.
Сегодня проснулся очень рано, буквально с первыми перфораторами...
Сны, которые вам снятся, многое говорят о вашем характере. Например, если вам приснилось, что вы имеете свинью, то вы очень скрытный, застенчивый и легко ранимый... свиноё&.
- Ты разбил мне сердце!
- Смети его веником в банку и поставь на полку.
- Ты свои мозги в таком же состоянии хранишь?
-Около 70 процентов живых существ Земли - бактерии.
-По массе или по даным всероссийской переписи населения?
-По результатам последних выборов!
( ... tālāk ... ) |
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[May. 19th, 2008|11:12 am] |
Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to speak it to?
Clarence Darrow
Nothing travels faster than the speed of light, with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own set of laws.
Douglas Adams
One day, three boys were walking over a bridge when they heard a guy yelling for help. It was President Bush. He was drowning, and the three boys rescued him. He thanked them dearly and promised them whatever they wanted as a reward.
The first boy wanted $10,000, so Bush gave him the money. The second boy wanted a Ferrari, so Bush gave the boy a Ferrari.
The third boy wanted a wheelchair, Bush said, "Why do you want one of those, son, you're not handicapped."The boy replied, "I will be when my dad finds out whose life I saved."
A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself that he starts calling his wife "Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.
One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well.
He shouts at the top of his voice, 'Shall we go home now Mother of Six?"
His wife, finally fed up with her husband, shouts back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four!" |
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[May. 19th, 2008|02:43 pm] |
The Top Advantages to Living In a Haunted House
- Whatever lives under the porch loves Girls Scouts and you love Girl Scout Cookies: win-win!
- Wife falls in the toilet because the seat was left up? Yeah, it was those darn *ghosts* again!
- Levitation sleep is good for the back.
- With all the corpses in the swimming pool, you can act out scenes from Titanic whenever you like!
- Constant shrieks of terror drown out your idiot neighbor's car stereo.
- Who doesn't enjoy soothing theramin music in the background?
- You don't need a security system as long as the ottoman thinks burglars are tasty.
- The caskets in the cellar make last minute sleepovers possible.
- No need to worry about buying bran or laxatives, what with always having the crap scared out of you.
No TopFive.com |
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