| |
[Feb. 15th, 2008|07:48 am] |
Люблю понедельник - всего три дня до пятницы.
Легче договориться с голодным тигром, чем с сытым бараном.
Уфологам пришло новое сообщение о паранормальном явлении: ... вдруг с легким треском из стены появился чугунный шар, диаметром около полуметра...
Простая арифметика: если, не дай бог, начать войну с Китаем, и убивать их по миллиону (!) в день, то за год можно убить всего 365 миллионов китайцев, что примерно составляет 25% всего населения Китая, и практически эквивалентно ежегодной рождаемости этой страны...
( ... tālāk ... ) |
|
|
| Un vēl par Valentīndienu :) |
[Feb. 15th, 2008|07:54 am] |
A dead camel with two humps may be in the shape of a heart, but it makes a poor Valentine.
Chris Lipe
The stereotype that women aren't as good as men at math is unfortunately true. I can't tell you how many times I've tried to strike up a conversation with a cute girl by pointing out that my telephone number is also a prime number, yet not one of them has ever come home with me.
Brad Hamer
My girlfriend says I'm not sensitive enough to her need to be sad and cry. Hey, is it my fault I'm lachrymose intolerant?
Brad Wilkerson
I want my husband to videotape us while we're having sex. Not because I'm kinky or anything, but usually I'm asleep at the time and I'd sure like to enjoy our lovemaking, too.
Stephanie Shiner-Thompson
I wish my girlfriend's twin was blind. Not that I have anything against her; it would be a lot easier when I'm drunk just to think, "Don't kiss the one with the dog."
SibrWulf
My girlfriend came up to me the other day and introduced me to one of her male friends, and at first I didn't mind, since I'm not the jealous type. I just wish she hadn't started calling him "Sweetie" and living with him and having his kids and marrying him and stuff. It's really starting to make me wonder if she wants a future with me or not.
Derek Maness
No TopFive.com |
|
|
| |
[Feb. 15th, 2008|11:09 am] |
Writers' strike? End of strike? Will there actually *be* an Oscars this year?
The Top Things We'll See at the 2008 Academy Awards
- No aisle seats for old men.
- "And the Oscar goes to... some indie film you've never heard of starring British people."
- LA unemployment office workers picketing for lost wages.
- Kiefer Sutherland, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton and Michelle Rodriguez all show up wearing their prison-issue jumpsuits.
- A test pattern on my TV screen.
- Interviews with both the people who saw the Best Picture nominated movies.
- Tom Cruise wins "Best Portrayal of a Mental Patient". Not for any movie, though.
- Without writers scripting all of that lame banter, ceremonies whiz by in only 17 minutes.
No TopFive.com |
|
|
| |
[Feb. 15th, 2008|12:30 pm] |
|
Mentu kari (krieviski) :))) |
|
|
| |
[Feb. 15th, 2008|12:34 pm] |
Vēl par Valentīna dienu, ja nu nākamgad noder ;))
Valentine Card Limericks
Please tell me my love, it ain't so.
A restraining order? I didn't know!
I ask just one thing,
As you charge up your thing:
Please, please, don't tase me, bro!
Spike Jones
( ... tālāk ... ) |
|
|