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[Oct. 30th, 2007|07:42 am] |
Человек, падающий с нераскрывшимся парашютом, испытывает дикий страх, жуткий стресс, нестерпимые психологические мучения.
Радует одно - этот ужас не повторится.
Почему, если Вася считает себя Наполеоном, его помещают в дурдом, а если он считает себя Изабеллой - его называют сексуальным меншинством?
В автосалоне ВАЗ:
- Пап, бибика!!!
- Не трогай каку!!!
( ... tālāk ... ) |
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[Oct. 30th, 2007|07:51 am] |
The Top Signs Your Co-Worker Is Obsessive-Compulsive
- Not only takes minutes at every meeting, takes seconds, too.
- Between his OCD and his overactive bladder syndrome, he's actually worn a hole through the third urinal from the left, 2.4 inches above the drain, slightly to the left.
- Sorts paper clips by tensile strength.
- Keeps getting rid of perfectly good 11-month-old magazines from the reception area.
- Counts the coffee grounds to make sure the pot is made correctly.
- Manages to hit right between the 6th and 7th thoracic vertebrae each and every time she stabs you in the back.
- Cleans the microwave so often you can see the irradiated glow of his sponge hand from across the lunch room.
- Makes sure each box contains exactly 66 French fries, arranged by height, hue and warmth.
- You had to change your name to make partner at Larue, Levin, Lomax, Lohnson and Lmith.
- She's been stuck at the bottom of the lobby escalator all morning because someone cleaned the gum off of "her" step.
- Sorts his ED spam by promised-enlargement size.
No TopFive.com |
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[Oct. 30th, 2007|10:08 am] |
The Top Signs a Computer Store Should Be Avoided
- The salesperson reflexively asks if you want fries with that motherboard.
- The sign in the window reads, "All our computers come with a complimentary cup holder."
- The head salesman is a burly guy who warns you to keep your hands off the dancers.
- The store advertises as a hotspot, since they're right across the street from the YWCA.
- All the salespeople look tanned and muscular, as if they actually get out of their moms' basements.
- "You'll save a ton of money. We got these old Dell laptop batteries really cheap."
- While he seems like a nice enough guy, there's something not quite right about the Amish proprietor.
No TopFive.com |
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