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[Jul. 31st, 2007|09:32 am] |
Наверное, каждый женатый мужчина хочет хоть раз в жизни услышать от жены фразу "Дорогой, стукни меня по голове, а то я что-то распизделась".
Трудно быть умным: все время чувствуешь себя дураком.
( ... tālāk ... ) |
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[Jul. 31st, 2007|10:23 am] |
No šodienas Dilbert'a:
There are two kinds of management problems. There's the kind you can solve by yelling and the kind you can solve by buying some sort of software. |
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[Jul. 31st, 2007|03:20 pm] |
Word to the wise: If you're lying on the street, policemen are holding you down at gunpoint and you were the only person looting, the Apocalypse is not yet upon us.
Kris Vandecruys
It isn't that I hate having to hear about how hard it was for my grandparents "back in the old country," it's that I hate having to hear about their sex life in general.
Dustin Moskowitz
No TopFive.com |
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[Jul. 31st, 2007|03:23 pm] |
The Top Signs Imported Goods Aren't Up to Snuff
- Let's just say there's something rather twisted about these wax candles from Brazil.
- There's an expiration date on your carton of Shat-o #1 Super Happy French Bordo Wine.
- Occasional shards of flea collar and ID tag indicate this manufacturer egregiously misinterpreted the concept of "Puppy Chow."
- "Produced Lovingly in China to Help You Imperialist Bastards Control Your Pet Population."
- While Harry Potter certainly has done a lot of scary things in his books, you're pretty sure marrying Yoko Ono wasn't one of them.
- The talking teddy bear you got your child for Christmas will only say: "Hug me. I'm fat and soft like an American."
- Your new lambada DVD turns out to be video of an Iranian man with a ferret in his pants.
- The Canadian bacon on your pizza tastes just like ham.
- That edition of Windows Vista Ultimate you ordered through the Chinese website for $20 is working flawlessly.
- Your Persian rug keeps coughing up hairballs.
- NOW ENJOY TOPFIVE GOODNESS FUNNY TIME!!!! (assembled in the USA from overseas humor material)
No TopFive.com |
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