| Ekoloģiski :] |
[Oct. 6th, 2006|08:01 am] |
Dave and Fred decide to go golfing at their favourite course. On the fifteenth hole, Dave hits his golf ball into the woods and finds it in a patch of pretty yellow buttercups. Trying to get his ball back in play, he ends up thrashing every buttercup in the patch.All of a sudden POOF! In a flash and a puff of smoke, a beautiful woman appears.
She says "I'm Mother Nature! Do you know how long it took me to make those buttercups? For doing what you did, you won't have any butter for your popcorn for the rest of your life. And, you won't have any butter for your toast. In fact, you'll never have any butter for anything the rest of your life!" Then POOF! She disappears. After Dave recovers from the shock, he yells to his friend Fred. "Hey, Fred, where are you?"
Fred yells back, "I'm in the rough, over here in a patch of pussy willows." Dave shouts back "Don't swing, Fred! For the love of God, DON'T SWING!!!" |
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[Oct. 6th, 2006|11:49 pm] |
The Top Signs You're About to Be Dumped
- "I think we should start seeing other people. And by 'we,' I mean 'I.' And by 'should,' I mean 'have been.' And by 'other people,' I mean 'your best friend.' I'll let you figure out what 'seeing' means."
- You ask your Magic 8 Ball if she's going to dump you and it says, "Signs point to a prolonged period of masturbation, Loser McDumpy."
- You're pretty sure "Adios, bitch!" wasn't really the answer to every question on last night's "Jeopardy!"
- She's removed you from her friends list on MySpace and her buddy list on AIM, and is currently attacking her tattoo with a cheese grater.
- Your girlfriend changes her screen name from Suzie1981 to SuzieLez1981.
- She calls out another guy's name while making love. To that other guy. In your car. While you're driving them to the airport.
- She sits you down and starts the classic "It's not you, it's me" speech with, "It's YOU, asshole!!! All you, you, you, you, you! Oh, my God, it is soooooooo YOU!!"
- "Hi, this is Dan at the suicide hotline. Just checking in. Feel free to call back anytime." |
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